Saturday, January 30, 2010

If you could make someone love you... would you?

So what has brought me back to my poor neglected blog? What usually brings me here... love, sadness, guilt and regret, longing and all those other thoughts and feelings within me.

I am sad. For quite a few reasons really. Firstly - I`m ill. Haven`t been this ill for at least a year. I hate being ill. I hate having to go to the doctor. I hate taking pills. I hate not having You here taking care of me and cooking me chicken soup :)

I am sad. For it seems like I`ve lost my best friend. I know she says I haven`t. Still, not having her around for whatever reason is difficult. I feel like I`ve been in this situation with someone else before. However, I don`t want this to end the same way. I hope she`ll be back soon.

I feel guilt and regret. I feel very bad for not taking time for certain people in my life. It seriously is nothing personal. It`s just me growing old I guess. Feeling my life stand still and slipping away at the same time. I do feel like I`m hiding more and more away in my shell, knowing it will only make things worse. Yet I can`t seem to get myself out of the house like I used to. As if it would make it any better I`ve told you all why I am the way I am and I do know you don`t hold it against me... still I feel guilty...

I am missing You! I miss You always saying right things at the right moments. I miss You calling me emo and making up silly poems to cheer me up :) I miss Your voice sending pleasent shivers down my spine. I miss You trying hard to understand my moods. I miss You giving me silly nicknames. I miss You never really losing Your temper when reasoning with me. I miss our "fights" ending with me just sticking my tounge out at You, making You laugh. I miss Your laugh. I miss being so very ghay with You (Barrowman and all that) :) I miss You in so many ways... and we haven`t been able to talk in what? 2 days? See how hooked on You I am??

Oh and I am in love. With You obviously... but also in a movie. There aren`t that many movies that I can say I`m in love with but "Were the world mine" is definately one. So why fall in love with a movie? Well... it`s ghay! It`s half musical and oh is the music just heavenly. It`s sort of an intepretation of Shakespeare`s "Midsummer Night`s Dream", which just so happens to be my favourite play by the man. The cast is just amazing. It`s all just fabulous!!!

Who knew that mixing magnificient music with Shakespeare`s gorgeous words you could get something like this (and yes I know it`s ghay... I told you so!!):







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