Been writing e-mails though. Too many of them actually. And now I'm feeling that I'm just messing it all up again. God, can't I just live without the drama????
In my last e-mails I'm sure I sound like a true loon. I bet I come across as an emotionally unstable person.
I meant everything I said though. Every single word. And you know what's the weirdest thing? Even though me being upset is justified, I feel guilty feeling this way. I feel guilty saying it all out loud. You always courage me to express all that I keep inside and every time I do I feel guilty. I'm not normal I'm telling you!
I just wish you would come up with the date and time soon 'cos otherwise I'm gonna run out of things to keep me busy. I've tried almost everything I'm at least a bit good at. Not really helping.
Gaaahhh... I should really be sleeping you know. I have another early morning and another frustrating day ahead and I just can't fall asleep. Instead I have to sit here and rant about nothing important. Lame!!! I'm absolutely lame!
I need a break. I need to get away. Even if only for a day. Away from all the people and this place.
I've been taking up meditation again. Helps a bit. Should really focus on it more so I could get 100% out of it but I need more selfdicipline for that. And that I lack right now. I'm exhausted and I can't even make myself go to bed....
I'm gonna switch play on my Espen Lind and Lifehouse playlist now and hope I'll fall asleep. And I'm not gonna check the grammar or read this blog twice so I could facepalm myself tomorrow =) I like this plan.
Goodnight!
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