When you go, would you have the guts to say "I don't love you like I loved you Yesterday"...

What happened? Did something happen? Or is it that nothing happened?

It was long time coming, wasn't it? I just refused to see it. Refused to admit what was obvious. Who's the fool now?! Me of course. It's always me.

While coming to work today, I realized that you've turned me into bitter, mean, frowning, sad excuse of a human being. Thanks to you I'm disappointed in everything and everyone, mostly in myself though. I hardly ever smile or laugh with a meaning any more.

I know it's pathetic. I know I'm pathetic. I know it won't do me or anyone else any good. I know I should just move on. I know I should... but I can't. I don't want to. I want to mourn and I will do so. I'll hide it well though. I always have and always will.

I'm the master of disguising my feelings. You should know. I know you know. I know 'cos you often complained about it. And I never learned.

I still do it. At this time even more than ever. Most of the people have no idea what's going on in my head and in my heart. They think that I'm tired or just lazy. They have no idea that not a single minute goes by without me missing you, without me inwardly crying.

Even my family thinks you're still around. I'm glad the last months I've been in the flat all by myself so I don't have to hide my tears, my anger, my loneliness.

I need to start all over again. New page in my book.

I already got a new job. What I need now is another place to live. All by myself. I need new surrounding. New people. New meaning for life.

Then again I know I can't just erase what we had. I can't just forget and start new. I'll be the girl who can't be moved. Hoping that "one day you wake up and find that you're missing me and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be. Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet and you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street. So I'm not moving."