Silence is all we have to give and the memories of a life I wish we'd lived...

My life has stopped. It has frozen. It is just standing still.

Everything and everyone is moving around me. Going places. Doing stuff.

Not me. I find it hard to move at all. With every tiny step I feel the painful stab right in the heart. And after every tiny step, after every painful stab I bleed. I bleed for days.

So I choose to be alone. Alone in the borders without moving. It's safer this way. Not necessarily less painful but much calmer. I don't have to try so hard to hide my wounds, my blood, my pain.

I don't expect others to understand. All they think about is themselves anyway.

However, being alone in the hiding, I've thought a lot about escaping. About running away for good. Where no-one can find me. Where no-one can come and drag me back...